So, Amy Poehler is pretty much my idol. Maybe you’ve seen her on SNL, or rockin the Golden Globes with Tina Fey, or as my dream alternate-self, Leslie Knope, on Parks and Rec. Basically, she’s one hilarious gal, so of course I’m reading her new book Yes Please— and! Lo and behold, she has a chapter dedicated to aging.
The chapter is titled “talk to yourself like you’re ninety,” which is something I actually often like to do when I’m stressed (although really I imagine a 60-year-old version of myself talking to the current me and saying things like “It’s okay! Literally no one, except losers, actually ends up caring about the grades they got in college,” or “Don’t worry, when you’re sixty you’ll have some awesomely horrifying stories to tell about working in retail and earning minimum wage!”).
Anyway, Poehler admits at the beginning of the chapter that she is possibly the most middle of middle aged: 43. But she’s already experienced some aspects of aging, and instead of dreading becoming old and complaining about it, she puts a very positive spin on the (hopefully) inevitable process of aging. She says:
“Getting older makes you somewhat invisible. This can be exciting… This can lead to your finding a comfortable couch at a party, or to the realizing that you are at a terrible party and need to leave immediately… You can witness young people embarrassing themselves and get a thrill that it’s not you.”
Basically, it can be pretty awesome that people start paying less attention to you. Poehler says that aging also makes you develop “X-ray vision;” due to having a lot of life experience, you can see through bullsh*t very easily and almost immediately. You find it easier to not take things so personally.
“You get better at knowing what you want and need. You can tell what kind of underwear people are wearing.”
I myself think that’s pretty awesome.
And finally, you become a superhero as you age. This, Poehler argues, makes you great at putting together a good team. You know who you work well with and who brings you inspiration and drive, and you stop caring about what people think of you and you do what you want and chill with whoever you want and have an awesome time.
She ends the chapter with some advice her 90-year-old self gives herself, including “Get to the point please,” “Isn’t dancing fun?” “Kiss every baby and pet every dog,” “Make ‘No’ a complete sentence,” and finally, “That next-door neighbor is too loud; that’s it, I’m calling the cops.” (Somewhat of a tangent, but see what she did there in that last sentence? Using stereotypes as a mechanism for humor??)
This chapter– and this book all around– is very inspirational. I was really, truly surprised to see she included a chapter on getting old. But isn’t that just so cool? I’ve realized this weekend that although I don’t spend much time hanging out with elderly people myself, aging comes up all the time. It’s come up countless times in conversations, it came up in a Broadway show I saw, it came up in this book, it came up in a TV show I was watching. It’s something people are uneasy about, so they make jokes about it. It’s also something a lot of people don’t know a lot about, which is also probably why they make jokes about it.
Aging is everywhere. And how fascinating (and crazy) is it that while the topic comes up all the time in everyday life, I had never imagined what my life would be like past the age of 65 before this semester? My whole life I have viewed my life as working toward goals I hope to eventually accomplish between the ages of 30 and 50. But what happens after I turn 50 and my kids are gone and I might have hit the peak of my career? What am I going to do when I stop working?
All in all though, I’m glad to see it coming up in a memoir-esque book written by a comedian, and I hope that it continues to show up in our media in a positive light. Thanks Amy Poehler!
And yes, please, you should all read her book.
A Blog About Aging 